Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Long War

The following poem is in response to this week's Magpie Tales prompt.






                The war-torn veteran stood on the grassy slope.  It had been over 50 years since he had stood on this very spot and gazed at her house.  The deceiving sun lit the face of familiar bricks, beckoning him forth.  Since then he had lost his idealism, his youth, and his left arm.
               He was returning, at last, to her.
              Would she stand at the threshold of the door in silence?  Pity?  Anger?
              Was she even alive?
             With every breath he wished so, as she was the one who brought him onto this earth.  And he wanted to be the one to take her out of it.

13 comments:

willow said...

Oh, this is lovely. WT's aunt was engaged to a guy and she broke it off just before he left to serve in WWII. Several years ago, a new widower, he looked her up and showed up at her door, just like this. Both in their 80's, they were married within a few months. It was meant to be.

Sue J said...

This is lovely. Nice Magpie.

rebecca said...

Okay, i'm reading the comments and mine is going to be a litte different. Your story is lovely, beautiful, puts a nice warm smile on your readers' faces leading one to believe there is a rainbow at the end....but then, the last paragraph does a complete 180! What?! Sinister! Si-nis-ter! He brought her onto the earth(mother?) and he wants to b the one to take her out of it.....eh.....if I'm reading this wrong, then so be it, but I thought it brilliant!!!! Bri-lli-ant!! Loved it! Awesome magpie.

little hat said...

I read it the same as Rebecca. Sinister rather than romantic. Completely took me by surprise. Is 'the deceiving sun' a clue?

Templeton's fury said...

Yes, yes smart readers. I was picturing a man coming back to kill his mother. However, re-reading it i could see how the last sentence could be figurative, also. I meant it to be somewhat amibiguous. I enjoy hearing everyone's interpretations! You guys rock!

Teresa O said...

I took it to mean he was going to do away with his mother, but then read the first couple comments and thought I'd missed something, so I went back and read again. Nope... this is quite sinister, indeed and well written!

annell said...

Perhaps we don't even know? Not sure? Perhaps we are unknown even to ourselves? I'm not sure? But I like that you did.....

~T~ said...

Yikes! What a twist at the end!

Carrie Burtt said...

Yes, Templeton, I could see the ambiguousness, that is what made it so captivating. Awesome writing my friend. :-)

Fireblossom said...

"If after long years I should meet thee, how should I greet thee?" (she misquoted)

In silence and in tears.

Tina said...

Oh this was delicious, as in I love really good, tight, controversial as to interpretation writing. Really. really well done.

Templeton's fury said...

carrie and tina: u r too kind
Fireblossom: I wish there were "like" button on Blogger!

Kay said...

whew! wow! wasn't expecting that last line! great shock value here