Monday, July 19, 2010

Control. Alt. DELETE.

It always has a bitter taste.
Exposed.  Flesh rubbed raw with knowledge and regret.
The potent herb clings to the roof of your mouth
and rivers of stones crush your ribcage.

You can always smell the aroma before you taste it.
A glass wall of illusion smashed ruthlessly from a bird's fragile wing.
Shifting space and time.  Rotating galaxies and paradigms.
Not again.

Awkward thrusts in vain to put the bricks back in place.
A siren in the background humming ominously.
What has been done to you will be done again.

Except this time,
 you will not be paralyzed in confusion.

You will scream and shake your fist at the sky
before collapsing in a heap at the bottom of the stairs.

A voice beckons, "Stupid girl."
[This whisper is familiar to you.
Its deep timbre was the same tone
of the warden
who kept you locked deep your prison made of pills.]

Today you walk away from the voice,
smacking your lips in determination
and spit out the human waste.

A light shines ahead.

You thank God at the first scent of the approaching rain
which always seems to bring with it a coppery epiphany.


cmoursler said...

I like your writing. Have you thought maybe working with depressed teens might not be good for you if you're depressed? (I am full of these keen insights lol) Listening to all the reasons why life is a bag of shit on a daily basis may not be the best way to pull yourself out of a hole. I have been depressed, very. I pulled myself out of it in a variety of ways. Too many and varied to recount in a comment box. Your family history doesnt have to be your epitaph.

Tina said...

This was AMAZING. You have keen insight, and your writing is so very vivid. Loved the last two lines. I know exactly the smell you're describing, but wouldn't have been able to articulate it this well. BRAVO.

Angela said...

These is an amazingly powerful poem. It is filled with strength. I look forward to visiting your blog more often:)

transparentnow? said...

I'd really be hard pressed to decide which of your posts is my favorite but this one is right up there. Your words are cathartic (hope I spelled that one right).